Paige Parry
The Labour of Love, Paige Parry, July 2020.
“They say in labor women leave their bodies to travel to the stars to retrieve the souls of their babies - but I say the heavens are deep inside us and birth is the holiest act of dreaming the heavens awake.” - Jamie Satori
The surges started coming every 5 minutes. It was incredible how they arrived like clockwork. I was thinking, “Is this really how a woman’s body works in labour?”
I got out of the bath as I started to feel nauseous, with uncontrollable body shakes and I felt the need to walk. I played Cat Stevens. At 5 am I wanted to get back in the bath. I had more intense surges. We made the 20-minute car ride to the hospital. I needed to focus whenever I had to ride the wave of a surge.
The hypnobirthing course had said to “breathe the baby down” but with my circumstances, it was nothing like that. I had to take a deep breath in, hold my breath and push as hard as humanly possible (and hold it), take another quick breath, and then push again for as long as possible. I could feel her coming down my birth canal.
I felt more in control of this technique and its outcome, as opposed to the first stage of birth and riding the wave of each surge. James said he was worried because my whole face went purple while pushing. I didn’t feel the ‘ring of fire’ just a sensation of pressure wanting to be released. I felt her head come out. I reached down and touched my baby’s head! It was the most surreal feeling. Then I felt her tiny ear.
I had my eyes closed because of how much I needed to focus. Once my baby’s head was out Kass, my midwife said, “next time you push I want you to open your eyes because I’m going to bring your baby up onto your chest.” I was so excited to meet my baby. Her body came out easily, and then just like that… we had skin on skin. We waited for the umbilical cord to stop pulsating, then James cut it. I birthed my placenta naturally within 50 minutes. A 2nd-degree tear with one stitch that I hadn’t felt throughout labour.
It’s now been four months since I birthed our beautiful girl. It’s very hard for me to convey how I felt during those sacred hours. I went as far inside my body as I could to be in tune with everything that was happening at the time.
It felt natural and primitive I trusted that my body and baby knew what to do. I believe if you have a positive frame of mind and outlook on life, good things will come.
There’s a quote I came across a couple of months ago which barely scratches the surface with how I feel about Motherhood. “It’s a love not based on reciprocity or conditions but on existence alone. A love that can’t help but spill over into other spaces in your life. It’s a revival of the senses.”
A whole new world has opened up to me since becoming a mother. A world I never knew existed. A feeling of expansion. A place where love is at the forefront of our lives every waking moment.
Paige Parry
paigemaddison.com
Photography by Andy Staley & @BecomingMotherPhotography