Become Unstoppable
How to respond to setbacks or undesired outcomes in a way that’s growth-oriented.
When you’re in this process, and we’re truly creating from the inside out, what’s really important, is that we become unstoppable and in the face of setbacks or undesired outcomes, we shift our orientation to curiosity.
Find whatever places in your body feel shut down or connected, or contracted, in anxiety or this need to know, and allow yourself to expand, to open into curiosity, into wonder, into receptivity, into creativity. You are a powerful creator.
If you’re facing a setback or an undesired outcome right now, especially, I want to invite you into this practice. It’s going to support you to shift and expand into a growth orientation to setbacks.
If we stood in this place of knowing that, “All of life is organising around my success, even here, even now, when things are not working and I’m struggling, and I’m in breakdown, and I can’t see how it’s going to work out. But I’m curious, and I’m open. I know that all of life is organising around my success.” Then I can move into curiosity in that I can look at and orient to what’s happening.
And where I have power is looking at how I can use what’s happening to come into even deeper alignment with my vision, to prepare myself for the future that I’m committed to creating.
Look at where you have gone in the face of disappointment in the past, or in the face of a breakdown happening. That will reveal what our relationship to a higher power has been up until now - for real. And that might be very different to our self-image, or a self-identity.
If the Universe or Spirit was another person, what would the quality of that relationship be like as it relates to trust, as it relates to safety, as it relates to power dynamics? What’s the old story? And how does that seem similar to your experience in your family of origin?
Now, Shaking that off. Ask yourself what’s the new story about our partnership with the energy and intelligence of life?
You can know in every cell of your being, the deeper truth is that all of life is organising around your success.
The deeper truth is that life is inherently good.
We are living in a life-positive universe. The deeper truth is that the creative impulse of life is making manifest it’s goodness through me.
The deeper truth is that I have everything I need to realise the greatest possibility of my life, and I can let go of control.
I can let go of the how-to.
I can expand and open, and receive the limitless support, love, creativity that’s seeking to express through my life.
The deeper truth is deeper desires are the seeds of my potentials.
Find what resonates for you.
Support
I’d love to invite you to take a moment to put everything to one side and take a nice, deep breath, shifting your attention from ordinary awareness to extraordinary awareness by bringing your attention back into your own body, breathing down all the way into your hips, down into your legs, down into the soles of your feet and into the earth.
Breathing into this deeper, wider centre, where you can bring forward your love, your power, your empathy, your wisdom, your genius, all of these gifts and greatness that you extend to others, turning it fully towards yourself, bringing it all here right now to be utilised in service to your greatness, your destiny, being unleashed.
Expanding outward to the edges of the room, moving into curiosity, into wonder, into receptivity, letting go of needing to know any of the answers to any of the questions of your life, the who, the how, the when, the where, the what, the why. Listening, connecting to your deeper desires, receptive and open, curious about the next step.
Expanding into a field of profound connection to others, feeling the connection between you and I, feeling the connection, all the people in your life, knowing that you are a part of this much larger matrix of life, and how good it is to know and to feel, in each and every cell. That in this empowered connection to yourself, to the energy, intelligence, power of life, in being connected, open, giving, receiving in this empowered flow with others, we have everything we need to realise the greatest possibilities of our life.
Why we need support
How do things manifest? They manifest through the gateway of our connections and our relationship to others. I encourage you to ask for support, to amplify your voice by transforming your orientation to the ways you are generating connection so that your relationships become a source of creativity in your life.
For many of us, especially in the areas that we struggle to manifest in, our relationships have been fraught with disempowering patterns, ways in which we - without even knowing where this comes from—find ourselves over-giving, self-sacrificing, being compelled to do things out of obligation, or even the very dark and painful shadows of relationships where we experience abuse, where we experience toxicity, in ways that have us feel really unsafe to be deeply connected to others.
In an old system, it may have been perceived as being weak if we ask for help. We need to break free from these old patterns of self-abandonment, of invisibility, or hyper self-sufficiency in ways that we’re unable to truly generate and receive the support that we need. We’re moving into a new place, where our connections can become a source of rich, creative, energising power in which we can manifest. Your connections are the gateway through which the universe can show up and give you support. Things actually ground into manifest reality in our lives through the gateway of our relationships.
The relationship with ourselves, the relationship with others, and the relationship with a higher power. When we’re co-creators, we’re connecting to our deeper desires, we’re following our deeper knowing, we’re having the courage to take action, and then it’s through our connections that things come into being.
If you look at how things really manifest, the resources, the opportunities, the knowledge, the support - they come to us through our relationships. This is different to how we may have understood the process of creation - traditionally we see objects. For example, I want to have a best-selling book. What do we see in our minds about what we want to create? It might be like a book surrounded with light, and it has “Number One Bestseller” on it. But focusing on objects has us take our attention to a place that doesn’t give us the power as creators. If you take the example of that bestselling book and pan out a little to look the process through which that book may manifest, it might be that:
• You share your deeper desire to become an author with a Power Partner.
• She reflects back to you that she really sees the contribution that you have to make.
• As a result of that, you gain more confidence and you pursue it.
• You start to talk to friends and supporters.
• One of them knows this really fantastic writing coach.
• The writing coach has a workshop coming up.
• You go to that weekend workshop.
• You, at that workshop, in a flash, get the idea for your book.
• You workshop it with a couple of people who are at the workshop.
• One of them has a connection to an agent who is looking for a book just like that.
• She connects you with the agent.
• The agent has all of these relationships with publishers.
• That agent knows a publisher who loves books like this and are looking for new first time authors.
• You end up with a book deal.
• You maybe have already cultivated a platform, and that’s been part of it, but you’ve never launched a book before.
• You start to tap into all of the incredible knowledge that exists from people who have launched books, who are experts.
• You’re able to access and source that information.
• You come up with this amazing strategy to launch your book with the support of the people in your life who give you feedback on it.
• You’re cultivating and energising a network of relationships with promotional partners and with your own audience.
• You’re building all this excitement through this incredible matrix of relationships and connection that’s aligned with your vision and the potential of your contribution.
• The book is launched.
All of that manifested through this matrix of relationships.
I want to invite you to think about what you are manifesting or creating in your life, and pan out to see this larger matrix of relationships.
So, if we’re walking through the world saying, “Why isn’t life supporting me?” But we’re closed down, we’re disconnected, we’re shut off. There’s the answer: Life manifests, the universe manifests, through other people, through this matrix of relationships.
The second way that our relationships can become a source of creative power in our life is as the catalysts and containers for the critical growth that we need to engage to fully become ourselves. We need to learn how to create relationships that are growth-oriented with others who are a resonant field to mirror, to amplify, who we are becoming. “The more support I receive, the more powerful I become.” Imagine that feeling good in each and every cell of your body.
Ask for support & break up old patterns
What can you see about the ways in which you have been co-creating an experience about other people? For example, if other people seem selfish, to what extent have you trained them to have no expectations of reciprocity, that you’re happy to serve their needs? To what extent have you set up that contract where they really have no awareness that you’re dissatisfied or unhappy with this?
So, if you experience chronic invisibility, to what extent have you totally disappeared your own needs, feelings and desires? If you have this chronic pattern of being alone, to what extent do you not ask for support in generative ways? If you experience being not enough, to what extent are you giving so much to others of things that aren’t really related to their true needs? These are patterns that we’re all a part of, and the good news is that we can shift them really quickly.
Begin to connect with these four healthy needs that you might have for support:
1. Emotional support: What are the healthy needs that you have for emotional support? The need for encouragement–to be heard, a support structure for accountability, to make changes.
2. Practical support: What are your healthy needs for practical support? Help to solve a problem, help to make a decision, help to create something new, a referral to a resource.
3. Life Management: What are the healthy needs that you have for life management? I need help with childcare, with elder care, with transportation, with housing.
4. Resources, knowledge, information: What are the healthy needs that you have to access resources, knowledge, information, in the area that you’re manifesting in?
The deeper truth is that the thing that keeps us in isolation and outside this larger experience is our own inability to be powerfully vulnerable. In generating support, we’re stepping into a willingness to be seen as imperfect, a willingness to be seen as not having everything together, a willingness to not knowing the answers, and this is something very deep to take in, as well.
What’s important in being able to do this well is that you’re connected to your own needs, and you’re making a clear request, and you’re taking the risk to be powerfully vulnerable.
When you self-reveal with someone, it magnetises support and it deepens bonds of trust and mutual support.
We’re open.
We’re innocent.
We don’t have a big story we’re pushing.
We’re in the present and we’re oriented to the future and where we’re going, and you’re connected with what you might need as a foundation for asking for help.
There’s no ulterior motive in self-revealing.
You’re not trying to gain sympathy or pity from someone, or guilt them into feeling bad about something.
You’re open to being influenced by them, and open to their point of view.
There is a spaciousness.
Studies show that we are as healthy, happy, wealthy, loved and successful as the average of the six closest people to you. We are relational beings. Our sense of who we are and what’s possible is kept in place by this matrix. What we need to create is an amplified field of resonance at this new level that we’re manifesting in and creating in, and we do that with people we trust.
In this way, I (Iona) commit:
1. In supporting your actualisation and visions.
2. To reflect back and energise the vision for who you’re becoming versus who you’ve been in the present and the past.
3. To share all of my resources, inspiration, encouragement, support, accountability, to really stand with you at a higher level than just being a supporter.
When we have relationships like this in our life:
• We can become ourselves.
• We can take the leaps that matter most.
• We have the energetic foundation of support from which we can soar.
Establishing Relationships
Who are the people in your life who are as interested and as committed to actualising their potential as you are? Imagine yourself surrounded by these spheres of connection, all of your personal connections, all of the knowledge, wisdom, resources, all of the professional support you can tap into, seeing yourself in this energetically. We are magnetising support and amplifying our power through this incredible, rich, alive dynamic matrix of connection.
A Practice
I’d like to invite you to put everything to one side and take a nice deep breath, breathing all the way down into your hips, down into your legs, down into the soles of your feet and into the Earth and with each breath, recognising there’s an incredible spot for you to connect deeply with your own centre.
Breathing into the very centre of yourself. Imagining a time in your life where you have felt most yourself, totally free from self-concern, free from self-consciousness, completely free from expectations or judgments.
Feeling in your own centre, the unique essence that you recognise as you in the moments of your life that you have felt most yourself and with each breath, aligning with a motivation in yourself to express that’s totally free of any need to be perceived in any particular way. It’s a pure expression of this energy, this essence that you recognise as yourself.
And with each breath, I want to invite you to imagine this energy that you recognise as yourself. Imagine it growing bigger. Imagine it encompassing your whole body and expanding outward, right to the edges of the room, about two or three feet on either side of your body. It’s a circle that’s filled with your own personal energy.
Imagine that you’re expanding outward from within and that the energetic that you recognise as “you” is taking up space. And that expands two to three feet even further and further outside of you, feeling your personal space expand, you can even stand up if you feel an impulse to do so.
And in this powerful circle that’s filled with your own energy, you can imagine you’re seeing colours, hearing the sounds, smells, sensations and anything else that you can express. This is the seat of your creative presence.