Shatter The Glass Ceiling
The primary barrier to manifesting in an area of self-actualisation exists inside of you on the level of identity. It’s a deeper level even than belief. It’s a sense of who you are and what is or isn’t possible to have in this area of your life that has been shaping your entire experience in far-reaching ways up until now.
Biologists have shown that 80% of what creates our experience of a situation or experience of life is shaped by information that’s inside of our brains, and only 20% coming from external circumstances. So there’s a filter. There’s an identity.
These internal barriers that exist on this level of identity are problematic because what happens is, they’re shaping our perception, our interpretations, and our choices and how we’re responding in ways that are incredibly far-reaching. To make these old stories visible and to be able to engage and transform them, we need to get into an entirely new relationship with ourselves.
Step One: Identify the Patterns and Reclaim Your Power as a Creator
To break through the energy of emotion, and the energy of non-possibility, I want to invite you to connect with the place in your life where you show up with the most empathy and compassion, love, and support. Allow this mature, loving part of you to come forward and to hold your desires and yearnings in this area that you are manifesting and creating in.
From this place of connection to a deeper source of love and wisdom, the person you are at the very best in your life, thinking and sensing into the area of your intention I want to invite you to reflect upon:
What have been the challenges or struggles that you have had in this area of your life up until now?
It’s really important to separate out how we feel about this area of our life, and what actually happens that has us get stuck or stopped.
What’s really important is to look at and see if you can identify: What actually happens again and again and again in different situations, in different circumstances? What actually happens when you have tried to create or manifest in this area of your life?
This is a really big clue that we’re going to look at to find the root of what it is that has been co-creating this experience in your own consciousness, so we can break free from it.
Who or What are You Blaming?
Become curious about this. There’s what actually happens, and there’s who and what we’ve been blaming for it.
So remember, we have a commitment to these reflections from listening as that wise, loving friend.
And of course, there is really truth to all of these things that we can point to. But the primary reason that you’re getting stuck and stopped in your power as a creator is that there’s a part of you that is stuck and isolated and has not been evolving, a part of you that has been shut down in a shame-based story about who you are and what’s possible for you.
Look at this area of your life. How can you take responsibility, even just a little bit, for how you have been co-creating your experience of what’s so?
If you do this, you’re going to exponentially expand your power as a creator. Because even if it’s only 2%, owning your choices and your ways of showing up in your life is going to be enough for you to completely break through the barriers and manifest and create at this level.
For example, “When it comes to my purpose, the truth is, I have a lot of different gifts, but I haven’t really followed through on the opportunities that I’ve had to develop them. I’m wanting it to happen without putting in any work.”
Now, this said, this is not the whole story, but it’s the part that you can be responsible for as you, your own choices, your own decisions, your own behaviours, the ways that you show up.
Step Two: Identify and Name the Old Story
Let’s take the next step together. We’re going to identify and name the root of this stuckness, and name the old story that is underneath all of the ways in which you’ve been co-creating in this area of your life up until now.
Place your hand on the feeling that comes up in your body when this pattern happens, when you feel disappointment or frustration, or anger, or stuckness.
Bringing this loving, kind, and powerful, wise self to the forefront to feel this feeling so deeply, and if I could give this feeling a name as an “I am” statement or an “I am not” statement: “I’m not enough,” “I’m a failure,” “I’m not safe,” “I’m too much,” “I’m not loved.’”
Write it down from a place of loving-kindness towards yourself, having a lot of empathy for this part of us who has been feeling not enough, too much, not safe up until now.
If you connect with a feeling in your body, what’s the story about others in this area of your life? What has it been up until now? See if you can write it down.
And then, finally, “In a world where I am not seen,” for example, “and others don’t care about me,” what is or isn’t possible? What’s the possibility? What’s my fate?
Making it conscious, this is what we’re doing. We’re bringing it out of the realm of the underworld into the land of the living where we can awaken, open, transform, and evolve this part.
Step Three: Reconnect with the Part of You that’s Been Isolated and Stuck in the Old Story
I want to invite you to again place your hands back into your body where you feel the centre of those feelings: “I’m not enough,” “Other people don’t care about me,” “I can never win”—whatever it is that comes up in the centre of the disappointment or the breakdown or the stuckness—breathing into the centre of it.
And with this loving, mature, wise presence, imagine that you are turning towards this part of yourself. And allowing the breath to bring you into connection, to bring you into the presence with this part of you that has been stuck and stopped in this area of your life up until now. And I want to invite you to extend empathy, extend kindness, feel it washing through your whole body like a warm wave of pink and gold, like sunlight into a place that has been very dark, like the sun rising after a long night. Allow the breath to bring you into deep presence and deep connection with this self in your body who has been isolated and disconnected, and alone.
Step Four: Awaken to a Deeper Truth
What’s the deeper truth?
The truth is that your very existence is more than enough to be loved and cherished. And other people want to care for you but can’t know what you need unless you tell them. The truth is that you were not meant to be alone. You have an extraordinary destiny to give and receive great love.
What’s the deeper truth about who you are, about who others are and about your destiny, the possibility, your power as a creator in this area of your life?
“The truth is that I’m a powerful creator.”
“The truth is, it’s not that I’m not enough, it’s that I’ve been playing too small a game. The containers, the context in my life has been too small.”
Step Five: Craft a Power Statement
Stand up and allow your body to move, to breathe, to expand, and let your body open up to align with this deeper truth of who you are and your power as a creator in this area of your life.
Notice how you’re breathing.
Notice where your attention is.
Notice how you might move.
Notice how you might walk.
Allow anything that needs to integrate right now to do so in your body.
Step Six: Commit to a Path of Growth and Align with the New Story
The reason why you’ve been struggling and these patterns have been repeating, and maybe unchanging, is that a part of you that’s been stuck in the old story has been closed, has been isolated, has been shut off to growth. And as a result, likely, you have underdeveloped skills and underdeveloped capacities, and habits and behaviours that you have been engaging in and showing up inside of.
This is a powerful place to go to, to reclaim your power as a creator even further by reflecting upon ways you can see now from this perspective inside this old story about who I am and who others are, and what is or isn’t possible:
How have I been co-creating this?
How have I been generating evidence for this being true?
What have I not been investing in?
What are the risks I’ve not been taking?
What can I see here, the ways in which I would show up inside that whole story that has been reinforcing it and keeping it in a closed-loop?
Allow your creativity, allow your sense of possibility and vision to guide you into coming up with some ideas and some steps that you can take in the coming weeks to bring who you’re being and how you’re showing up into alignment with this new story about who you are in your power as a creator.
This is really unlocking and creating an empowered relationship between the self in your mind who you’re consciously aware of, who shows up, who’s loving, who has capacities, who has resources, and the self in your body who has been stuck in a lesser story of power and potential.
The great news is that:
You already have so much power, and wisdom. You already have so much love
A Transformational Matrix
The level of identity, or “WHO” we believe we are, shapes our experience of life in far reaching ways—it’s what informs our expectations, the underlying sense of what we deserve to have (or not have), our behaviours, choices, decisions, and is the underlying filter through which we interpret and respond to our experience of life.
This sense of who we are, and of what is and isn’t possible, has been forged by unconscious meaning-making throughout our lives. It develops in response to experiences in our personal history and family of origin, as well as the cultures in which we grow up in and the prevailing narratives about power, wealth, success, gender, body type, beauty, race, class, age, our relationship to higher power and our relationships with each other and more. I began to look for patterns and access points and noticed that there were startling commonalities in people’s descriptions—which led me to believe that they could be tracked and mapped—making it easier to identify and break free from them.
Influenced by the work of Robert Dilts—who was one of the co-creators of NLP. I began to see that beliefs and old stories at the level of identity are not only about ourselves, but are actually a multi-dimensional MATRIX of beliefs about ourselves, about others and about the possibilities for our lives.
The Transformational Matrix is both a tool for diagnosis, and the discovery of which patterns may be blocking, as well as to provide resources and a “map” through which you can break free in the most efficient way. The patterns that I began to see and map included the way things occurred to them from their point of view—how this pattern was showing up in their lives, and how it coloured their perceptions and became a self-referential feedback system—a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. It is like being locked inside our own hamster wheel. These patterns are difficult to break free from because, first, they are largely invisible; and second, they are tied to our identity
These patterns seem to be coming from the outside, they seem to be happening to us, instead of happening through us. When things happen to us, we feel like we don’t have any control over them; but the truth is, we are actually holding them in place or helping to hold them in place. Initially this may seem disheartening, but it is actually empowering—because if we can just see how we are creating these patterns, we can create something different. We can create a new story.
The three Identities that are most significant to address as a foundation: I’m Not Enough, I’m Invisible, & I’m Alone. The matrix is organised around the different limiting beliefs, or false identities that you hold about yourself. (THE FALSE IDENTITY For example: I’m Invisible (a.k.a. I’m not seen, I don’t exist). Underneath the limiting belief, you will find the true identity statement. It is the greater truth about who you are. It combines a belief about yourself, others and the world. I came here to be seen and to have a profound impact on the world. The next Section “How you keep in it in place” describes ways of being that validate your experience of that identity, and make it appear to you to be true. At this point, you will have a very clear picture of the false identity. For example ways of being that generate evidence that validate that identity. (for example: you may ask for what you want and need in ways that are attacking, assuming that other people don’t care about you before you’ve even given them a chance to demonstrate that they do). And then we recognise skills and capacities to cultivate in order to evolve beyond false identity: (for example: The ability to recognise and name your own feelings, needs and desires. The ability to welcome and witness with love your own inner experience).
FALSE BELIEF: I’m Invisible (a.k.a. I’m Not Seen, I Don’t Exist)
TRUTH: I came here to be seen and to have a profound impact on the world, and it is my responsibility to presence my visibility wherever I go.
You may: (how it shows up in your life)
Be disconnected from your own feelings, needs & desires (they are invisible to you), and this becomes a vague sense of dissatisfaction in all your relationships
Not assert your feelings, needs & desires even when you are aware of them
Place your first attention on others, disappearing yourself almost entirely
Find yourself doing chronic selfless service
Rarely create structures for the fulfilment of your needs
Frequently disappear and/or bail on relationships entirely with little or no explanation, assuming others won’t really miss you or will barely notice you are gone
Others often: (effect on others)
Are completely unaware of your feelings, needs & desires
Disregard & skip over you, forgetting to ask how you are and/or what you want and need • Place their attention primarily on themselves, too and do not necessarily like it when you suddenly decide to presence your own feelings and needs (because you’re breaking the unspoken contract)
Are confused and/or hurt when you leave or end the relationship without explanation
Feel abandoned when you inevitably disappear and/or pull your attention away from them, having gotten seduced by the intensity of your attentiveness
Can become very self-absorbed and self-centered in your presence
Enjoy how puffed-up, important and “seen” they feel when they are with you
Beliefs about others:
“Others don’t care about me”
“Others are selfish”
“Others would not care if I just disappeared”
Belief about life:
“It is dangerous to be seen”
“The world does not need what I have to offer”
You may: (ways of being that generate evidence that validate identity)
Ask for what you want & need in ways that are attacking, assuming that other people don’t care about you before you’ve even given them a chance to demonstrate that they do
Disappear when you don’t get your needs met rather than ask directly for what you want, hang in there and work it out
Not represent yourself in ways that help others to know who you are, and/or the value of what you have to offer
Redirect the conversation to keep the focus on others rather than reveal yourself • Engage in selfless service to the point of exhaustion & depletion, rarely presencing your own needs and desires
Wait passively for someone to “discover” you
Create relationships where only one person gets to be fully seen, requiring the other to disappear their needs and desires almost entirely
Become hurt & resentful when others don’t automatically see your unexpressed needs and desires in the way that you can see theirs
Skills and capacities to cultivate to evolve beyond the false identity:
The ability to recognise and name your own feelings, needs and desires
The ability to welcome and witness with love your own inner experience
The ability to ask for what you need & desire in ways that inspire others to meet those needs
The ability to speak who you are and what you have to offer in ways that truly represent your greatness and therefore get you invited to participate in ways that would generate more visibility in the world
The ability to anticipate your own needs & create structures that would allow for their fulfillment
The ability to create relationships where your needs & desires, & the needs & desires of others, can all be present, even when they appear contrary & are seemingly incompatible
Gifts:
You possess a deep capacity to see what is in the invisible; the ability to hear what is not being spoken, and the capacity to discern that which has never been made known before
You have an exceptional ability to help others due to highly developed capacity for insight, empathy, perception & discernment
You appear as deeply trustworthy and safe to others
You are highly creative and able to see possibilities that remain invisible to others
Deeper Truth Statements:
I see myself. I am deeply present to my own feelings, needs and desires. I intuitively know how to ask for my needs and desires in ways that inspire others to meet them
I came here to be seen. It is my destiny to be visible and I now take my rightful place in the world by being willing to presence myself fully
The more I presence my needs and desires, the more I empower myself and others
I deeply see and anticipate my own needs and I create structures for their fulfillment in advance
I am a powerful, visible presence in the world. I am here to make visible that which has, until now, been invisible. My gifts of insight and perception are a profound blessing to the entire tribe, to the entire world
The best way to see how much other people do or don’t care about my feelings, needs and desires is to tell them clearly what they are and then see how they show up.
True Identity: I came here to be seen and to have a profound impact on the world, and it is my responsibility to presence my visibility wherever I go
FALSE BELIEF: I’m Not Enough
TRUTH: My very existence in and of itself provides extraordinary value, and is a profound blessing to all.
You may: (how it shows up in your life)
Be “other directed” and chronically self-sacrificing
Rarely be satisfied because you are focused on other people’s needs and/or on external standards of perfection or success
Take responsibility for other people’s happiness, satisfaction and fulfilment
Feel that you have to do more than everyone else to get the same amount of success and recognition
Believe you exist to please others
Commit to things that will not satisfy you
Be overly diligent to care for the needs and upsets of others, often forgoing your own in the process
Over and/or under eat
Feel as though you never have enough (time, money, resources, love, etc.)
Be a jack-of-all-trades
Be overly considerate of others needs and upsets
Give up on things before attaining a level of mastery
Frequently find yourself burdened by too many obligations pulling you in all different directions
Others often: (effect on others)
Feel that no matter how much they do to show their love and support, it’s never quite enough for you
Become overly dependent upon you
Learn to feel entitled to have you do more for less
Feel frustrated and irritated with you when you take on more than you can realistically deliver on and then let them down
Don’t trust you to keep your word on what you say you are going to do
Feel as though you are settling for them
Beliefs about others:
“Others don’t value me”
“Others expect more from me than they do from others”
“Others always want more from me than I can realistically give”
Belief about life:
“There is never enough to go around, (i.e., time, money, attention, resources or love)
You may: (ways of being that generate evidence that validate identity)
Covertly say self-depreciating and self-diminishing comments about yourself, particularly when others try to praise and acknowledge you
Over-commit and take on way more than you could possibly do, validating again and again that you are not up to task
Generate debt
Generate clutter in your space
Continually change careers before you achieve any real success
Do things from a sense of obligation rather than because they bring you joy
Represent that you’ll do more, training others to hold you to a higher standard
Over give, over buy, and overdo everything
Lose yourself in the needs of other people
Not follow through on opportunities because things are never enough to satisfy you
Set nearly impossible standards of success for yourself and others
Take on jobs that are really not yours to do
Get yourself obligated to people and situations that are not satisfying for you because you are not connected to what would generate your own happiness and fulfilment in life
Undervalue and under-present yourself
Skills and capacities to cultivate to evolve beyond false identity:
The ability to be deeply present with yourself, connected to your own needs and desires
The ability to accurately assess the true value of what you provide
The ability to give to yourself first before giving to others
Your ability to receive appreciation, love and support from others
The ability to set appropriate limits and to say “no” to those things that do not inspire you
The capacity to mirror and validate your own existence as something precious and valuable
Gifts:
You are profoundly generous, you always have more than enough to share and you give it to others freely
You provide a sense of abundance for others
You are good at many things, having cultivated many different skills and talents
Deeper Truth Statements:
As I do and give less, I become more open to receiving love, acknowledgement, support and appreciation from others
I am deeply grateful for all that I have and I profoundly appreciate all that I am
I always have enough time, enough money, enough support and enough love to live the life that I was born to live
I am more than enough for myself and others
I exist to please myself, and I choose to please others if and when it pleases me to do so
I care deeply about my own happiness and satisfaction and prioritize my own well being in life
Truth: My very existence in and of itself provides extraordinary value, and is a profound blessing to all.
FALSE BELIEF: I’m Alone (a.k.a. I’m on My Own)
TRUTH: I was not born to be alone. I came here to love and be loved and I have the power to create deep and meaningful connections with others.
You may: (how it shows up in your life)
Experience a “low grade” chronic depression and deep sense of sadness, having given up hope of ever being deeply connected to others
Rarely ask for support, or ask in ways that alienate others (i.e. demand, whine, complain, or ineffectively hint at what you need without coming out and saying it in ways others understand, etc.)
Be chronically under-supported
Feel unable to actualise the fullness of your gifts & your greatness into the world
Rarely feel like you are with “your people”
Others often: (effect on others)
Find you unapproachable
Have a difficult time finding ways to support you
Assume you do not need anything from them because it looks like you have it all together
Give up including you, or stop inviting you to events because of the many times you are unavailable and/or don’t show up
Beliefs about others:
“Other people always leave”
“Other people don’t give me what I need from them”
Belief about life:
Life is sad and lonely
You may: (ways of being that generate evidence that validate identity)
Avoid joining collectives and/or communities, preferring to go it alone (i.e., read self-help books, engage a solitary spiritual practice, live by yourself, work by yourself at home, etc.)
Rarely participate in groups as an equal member (i.e., prefer instead to lead the groups you are a part of, or stay on the side-lines, etc.)
Isolate & separate yourself (even when physically with others will often stay disengaged and off by yourself)
Not even respond to invitations from others or frequently say no, thereby training others to stop inviting you
Not make requests for support even when you desperately need it
Engage in addictions that serve to isolate you from others
Design your whole life inside self-sufficiency
Leave relationships during times of conflict and challenge rather than stay and work towards a deepened understanding and the possible formation of longterm bonds
Stay too long in relationships that are long over and needing to evolve to a new form because you can’t bear the idea of abandoning others
Be overly loyal to people you have long outgrown because you fear that letting go means you will forever be alone in life
Skills and capacities to cultivate in order to evolve beyond false identity:
A deep connection with yourself, checking in frequently to notice and name your feelings, needs and desires (so that you are no longer alone but “with” yourself)
Your capacity to be authentic and transparent in sharing your feelings, needs & desires with others in ways that allow them to really see and feel you
An ability to ask for support in ways that help others to understand exactly what you are needing from them, and how they might give that to you
The ability to let go of control and allow others to see the real you, so that they can love and support you
The capacity to make the time and the space to include other people in your life
The ability to enjoy and appreciate the many ways that people extend connection and care, even when they feel somewhat foreign and/or superficial to you
A capacity to be transparent, authentic and vulnerable so others can find a way to contribute to you and demonstrate their care
The ability to work through challenges and difficulties in ways that foster intimacy and healthy evolution without 1) severing the connection or 2) staying emotionally stunted in order to keep it
Ability to tolerate periods of loss with a sense of authentic faith in the overall connectivity and goodness of life
Gifts:
You possess an extraordinary capacity for deep, heart-centered relatedness with others
You are highly independent
You are exceptionally competent & deeply resourceful
You are fiercely loyal and deeply committed to others
Deeper Truth Statements:
I am deeply connected to myself, to others and to all of life
I did not come here to be alone in life and I do not accept it as my fate. I have the power to create rich relatedness and deep engagement with others
I am open and available to connect deeply and authentically with others
My need for others is healthy and wholesome. I need to be in relationships with others in order to become myself fully
I am here to be deeply related to all people and to all life
True Identity: I was not born to be alone. I came here to love and be loved and I have the power to create deep and meaningful connections with others.
Power Practice
Bringing that kind, wise, loving, and powerful part of you into this reflection, see if you can step into the centre of this feeling that comes up when the disappointment, or where the frustration or the stuckness happens.
See if you can feel the emotion (and breathe into the centre of it in your body) that comes up when the pattern happens again. Breathe into the feeling, you’re in a very safe place of loving kindness. You’re here with yourself. I’m here. There’s a larger field of support that’s here in this space and supportive space. You can turn toward it and allow yourself to fully feel the feeling that comes up.
Place one hand on the lowest centre in your body where its feeling is the strongest. So, it might be in two places. It might be in your chest. It might be in your solar plexus. Place your hand on the feeling that comes up in your body when this pattern happens, and you feel a disappointment or a frustration, or anger, or stuckness.
Breathe into the centre of this feeling. This is going to reveal to us what’s at the root of the pattern. Breathe into the centre of the feeling. And ask yourself: Bringing this loving, kind, and powerful, wise self to the forefront to feel this feeling so deeply, and if I could give this feeling a name as an “I am” statement or an “I am not” statement: “I’m not enough,” “I’m a failure,” “I’m not safe,” “I’m too much,” “I’m not loved.’” See if you can give the feeling a name as an “I am” statement or an “I am not” statement. This is just an underlying sense of who I am in this area of my life. “I am not safe,” “I am too much,” “I am not enough.”
Write it down from a place of loving kindness towards yourself, having a lot of empathy for this part of us who has been feeling not enough, too much, not safe up until now. And see if you can stay with the feeling, and then a statement about who others are in this area of your life. For example, in the area of love, if that’s an area of focus, finish the sentence, “Men are,” or, “Women are,” whichever gender you are sexually or romantically attracted to: “women leave,” “Men don’t want a woman like me.” Or if it’s the area of prosperity, for example, who are the others in the area of prosperity in your life. Who are the others? “People can’t afford what I have to offer,” or, “The people don’t value me.” If you connect with a feeling in your body, what’s the story about others in this area of your life? What has it been up until now?
See if you can write it down. And then, finally, “In a world where I am not seen,” for example, “and others don’t care about me,” what is or isn’t possible? What’s the possibility? What’s my fate? “I can never get what I need. I can never get what I need. I can never win. I’m going to be alone forever.” What is or isn’t possible? What’s your fate? What’s the future you are doomed to in this world, of this self in your body that has been living in this story? It’s been stuck and isolated in this old story.
Write it down.
Making it conscious, this is what we’re doing. We’re bringing it out of the realm of the underworld into the land of the living where we can awaken, open, transform, and evolve this part. So this matrix, this story about who I am, who others are, what my fate is, “What’s the possibility of me succeeding and being able to create what I desire?” this is the inner glass ceiling, this story, this self-sense. It’s been the inner glass ceiling up until now in this area of your life. Whatever you’re currently aware of, however far you’ve gotten to right now in this moment, it’s enough to come to a pausing place and begin to take the next step, where I’m going to guide you to reconnect from a place of power to this part of you that has been isolated and stuck in the old story up until now.
Reconnect with the Part of You that’s Been Isolated and Stuck in the Old Story
Take a breath, move and breathe and let your awareness expand outward to the edges of the room. Again, reconnecting to this part of you that has wisdom, for this extraordinary friend for others or parent, or colleague. And bringing it your brilliance, your gifts, your creativity, the place in your life you most feel like yourself in your power. Bringing these parts of you fully present right here, right now. Let’s reconnect with this part of you that has been stuck, that has been isolated and generating inside these old stories in this area of your life up until now.
I want to invite you to again place your hands back into your body where you feel those feelings: “I’m not enough,” “Other people don’t care about me,” “I can never win”—whatever it is that comes up in the centre of the disappointment or the breakdown or the stuckness—breathing into it. And with this loving, mature, wise presence, imagine that you are turning towards this part of yourself. And allowing the breath to bring you into connection, to bring you into the presence with this part of you that has been stuck and stopped in this area of your life up until now.
And I want to invite you to extend empathy, extend kindness, feel it washing through your whole body like a warm wave of pink and gold, like sunlight into a place that has been very dark, like the sun rising after a long night. Notice the beauty of all those colours, allowing your awareness to expand and extend, and feel. And extend the kind of compassion and empathy, and care, which you extend to your children, your friends, your clients, towards this part of yourself.
And from this loving, wise, adult self, asking the question: How old is this part of myself? And listening for an answer. And asking yourself the question: What’s the best thing about being my current age compared to the age of this younger self? What’s the best thing about being my current age?
How old am I now in my life? What are a couple of the best things? “I have access to choice, to freedom, to wisdom, to power.”
Breathe all the way down into your hips, into your legs, into the soles of your feet, and into the earth, breathing into a deeper centre where you can bring all of the power and wisdom of your life experience to turn towards this part of yourself. Allow the breath to bring you into deep presence and deep connection with this younger self in your body who has been isolated and disconnected, and alone.
Extending care, extending love, witnessing and feeling with, and having compassion and empathy for her experience of life in this area, for her struggle.
Awaken to a Deeper Truth
Let your heart open and expand and be with yourself. And together right now, we’re going to take the fourth step from this place of connection to yourself. What’s the deeper truth? What’s the deeper truth about who she is, about who others are, about what her destiny is in this area of her life? The truth is your very existence is more than enough to be loved and cherished. That other people will care about you, other people who are healthy, that I’m going to form relationships with, the mutualities, the organising principle of healthy relationships. And other people want to care for you but can’t know what you need unless you tell them.
The truth is that you were not meant to be alone. You have an extraordinary destiny to give and receive great love. What’s the deeper truth about who you are, about who others are and about your destiny, the possibility, your power as a creator in this area of your life? Sourcing it from your own inner wisdom that you can connect with right now.
What’s the deeper truth about who you are in this part of your life?
What’s a new story about who you are and your power as a creator in this part of your life?
I want to invite you into a process of discovery about this new story. Sourcing it from this place of connection to yourself, anchoring it with what I like to call a “power statement,” a few lines that you can write down that anchors this deeper truth.
Step into that deeper truth right now.
Allow your awareness to expand out to the edges of the room, letting yourself, letting your body, your physiology, your shoulders, your hips, your legs, open. Stand up and allow your body to move, to breathe, to expand, and let your body open up to align with this deeper truth of who you are and your power as a creator in this area of your life. Notice how you’re breathing. Notice where your attention is. Notice how you might move. Notice how you might walk.
Allow anything that needs to integrate right now to do so in your body. And sit down in this place of deeper truth, of possibility.
Commit to a Path of Growth and Align with the New Story
Now, from here, we can take the final step in our process that’s going to have us break through the inner glass ceiling and be freed from it forever. And that is to commit to a path of growth, of showing up and growing ourselves in ways that are aligned with this new story. The reason why you’ve been struggling and these patterns have been repeating, and maybe unchanging, is that a part of you that’s been stuck in the old story has been closed, has been isolated, has been shut off to growth. And as a result, likely, you have underdeveloped skills and underdeveloped capacities, and habits and behaviours that you have been engaging in and showing up inside of that have been keeping these patterns in place, that have been keeping this belief matrix generating evidence for its truth.
This is a powerful place to go to, to reclaim your power as a creator even further by reflecting upon ways you can see now from this perspective inside this old story about who I am and who others are, and what is or isn’t possible:
How have I been co-creating this?
How have I been generating evidence for this being true?
What are the choices I’ve been making?
What are the decisions?
What have I not been investing in?
What are the risks I’ve not been taking?
What can I see here, the ways in which I would show up inside that whole story that has been reinforcing it and keeping it in a closed loop?
To break free, to break through, we’re stepping into this new sense of self. We’re connecting with ourselves, reconnecting with this part of us that’s been isolated and stuck, helping her to awaken to a deeper truth. The place where the inner glass ceiling shatters and we’re able to create and manifest at a higher level than ever before is when we grow and develop, and expand, and begin to show up in these new ways.
What would it look like if you begin to envision over the weeks ahead and months ahead, what would it look like for you to show up in your life, in this area of your life, in a way that’s consistent and aligned with this new story?
What are the new ways you can show up in your marriage that’s aligned with the deeper truth?
Allow your creativity, allow your sense of possibility and vision to guide you into coming up with some ideas and some steps that you can take in the coming weeks to bring who you’re being and how you’re showing up into alignment with this new story about who you are in your power as a creator.
When you bring who you’re being and how you’re showing up in alignment with the deeper truth of who you are, this is where the inner glass ceiling shatters and life begins to reorganise completely around, and to start generating evidence for the truth of the new story.
In a number of weeks, you can shift and transform this pattern that may have been present for decades and other people will start to respond in completely different ways; to open up and see opportunities that you haven’t been able to see before just by showing up and taking new actions.
And showing up in ways in your life where who you’re being starts to match and mirror the deeper truth of who you are!
What are the new skills and capacities that you can begin to develop, that you can continue to cultivate, to practice?
I want to invite you to work with these practices, these questions through journaling and reflection over the weeks ahead